Necessary Pain
Every season of life comes with its own concerns, challenges, and opportunities to experience grace. Just as there is time for everything under the sun, each season brings its own difficulties, as well as moments of hope and encouragement. We often hear the saying, “It is darkest before dawn,” but what is not emphasized is how long that darkness may last. Metaphorically, the phrase suggests that dawn follows shortly after the darkest hour. However, some storms in life do not pass so quickly.
Grief is a necessary pain. The darkness before dawn can last for hours, days, months, or even years. I would not wish such prolonged grief on anyone. Grief brings a kind of pain that medication cannot take away. Unlike physical pain, for which medication can often provide relief, grief is something one must journey through. It is difficult. It is messy. It is inevitable.
What happens during the darkest hour before dawn, and how we respond to it, can make a profound difference. A seed must be buried and, in a sense, die before it can germinate, grow, and eventually produce a harvest that can nourish others. Similarly, a woman in labor experiences intense pain before giving birth to a child. Fertilizers can improve the conditions necessary for a seed to grow, just as an epidural can provide relief during childbirth. Yet, there is no medication that can completely dull the pain of grief.
In June and July, within the span of just four days, our family experienced the loss of two loved ones: my grandmother-in-law and my mother-in-law. Journaling, talking openly about our loss, and praying in faith have helped make the journey more bearable as we continue to grieve, cope, and adjust to a new reality.
The support, comfort, and care we received from family and friends made a significant difference in how I, and we as a family, processed our grief. The intensity of the pain was eased by friends who came to offer their condolences. To everyone who visited, called, or sent messages of encouragement, thank you for taking the time to stand with us.
To the friends who literally walked alongside us during those difficult moments, I saw God through your actions. You provided childcare, prepared meals, prayed with and for us, offered words of encouragement, and provided financial support that helped us navigate the arrangements leading up to the funerals. Your kindness and generosity helped us endure and move through this necessary pain.
Dawn and the eventual light of day will come, but sometimes not before the darkest hour has passed….it is a process. To everyone who has lost a loved one, and to those whose grief currently feels unbearable, I know that, with time, the pain becomes more manageable and that you find comfort in the love and support surrounding you.
Elizabeth Satterfield and Gwendolyn Satterfield, may your souls rest in eternal peace.
